Positive Parenting Solutions for You’ve Been Diagnosed with ADD

Many parents are looking for parenting help. “My child or teenager has been diagnosed with…something, and they want to prescribe medication.” Now, I'm not saying that is wrong, but it is just a way to fix the symptoms. We will suggest another way. A positive parenting solution is to guide your child with love and forget punishment. Punishment works for a short time but is a temporary fix at best. Your role, as a parent, is to teach your children life skills, so they can have the best chance for success. The bare minimum requirements you have to fill as a parent are:1. Make sure they have something to eat, food. 2. Give them shelter, a place to sleep. 3. Make sure they have clothes to wear. Everything else the child has is a privilege and, like it works in the real world, privileges are earned!

Time- respectful outs and removal of toys or privileges are all punishment, and your child just hears, “No, no, no!!!” This can be extremely frustrating. Begin to create an environment where they can hear, “Yes, yes, yes!” First, make sure they know what behaviors you expect from them to earn an outstanding reward of their choice. Next, give your child three parent approved decisions, then they can always make a choice from those three, and you can always accept them and love them, no matter what they choose.

For instance, give your child three different outcomes for supper tonight, bare minimum, average and outstanding. Their actions (choose three that are important to you like cooperation, picking up after themselves and respectful manners) will show you what they choose for dinner. Maybe bare minimum is vegetables and a piece of meat, average could include butter, gravy and bread with their meal, and outstanding would be all of the above plus a dessert! When the child chooses outstanding, it is all within his own control or responsibility, and you can praise him and love him, no matter what. “Timmy, you did so well today. You were very cooperative and you used your manners, great job! You earned average for supper!” Timmy will then say, “But, I want dessert!” And you can say, “Awesome, I would love for you to have dessert tomorrow. What do you need to work on to earn outstanding?” “I need to put my toys away.” “Perfect, Timmy, you are so smart, look at you!”

This brings us to the point that if you are choosing to get good behavior and production from your child then he must have a motivator, a reward that is important to him. Your child will tell you what is important to him every time he asks for something. “Mom, can I have a cookie?” Mom can say, “Excellent, I would love for you to have a cookie. What do you need to show me, or do, or complete, in order for you to have a cookie?” Your child will offer the correct answer every time when it is put to them like that. It is all their choice. They do not have to behave just because you want them to. They will behave when there is something in it for them. Begin to create a list on the refrigerator every time they ask for something; this is their rewards list. That way when they choose the good behavior you seek, they will earn their rewards and hugs and kisses and they are always hearing, “Yes!”